Breathe In Breathe Out

I just returned last night from the Mrs. Texas United States pageant. I really had a great weekend, and although I did not win, I would not change anything I did. Robert said that I was extremely elegant and beautiful. Ryan kept looking at my ad page...it said "to Ryan, I love you!" He was proud he was in the program and that I mentioned him in my intro. Ryan said "Mommy, I am sorry you didn't win....I would have voted for you!" I told him that being his Mom made me a winner every day.

I was disappointed last night, but Robert told me that I was one of the few that actually followed through with doing exciting things in life. He said that people always say "I'd like to do that" but that I actually do the big things. When you risk big, sometimes you lose big....but higher stakes also mean higher payoffs.

today I am tired, but my soul is ready to risk.

Breathe in breathe out...move on.

Breathe In, Breathe Out
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil

After the fall is over
And the night has gone away
The morning will bring you
A clearer vision, and a brand new day if you just

Breathe in, breathe out
Take a little time, and let your feelings out
Cast all your cares, to the evening wind and
Just breathe out, then breathe in….

Wearing your heart on your sleeve,
Has to be hard all on your own,
You’ve got your worries
You can talk to me, I’m in no hurry …at all

Like the winter snows melting
And the rivers running like rain
Living with your soul wide open
Finding the strength to begin again…if you just

I have heard it said
A journey begins with a step
I see yours beginning
With just a single breath….

Breathe in, breathe out
Take a little time, and let your feelings out
Cast all your cares, to the evening wind and
Just breathe out, then breathe in, again.

Ocean Child

Picture of my Ryan guy...

















Sirens' Song at Erinshire At The Gap music festival



It has been a busy week. I am Mrs. Abilene United States, and the Mrs. Texas pageant is this weekend. In addition to all the pageant prep, Sirens' Song had a gig this weekend. We recorded in the studio Friday and Sunday. Fun, but exhausting. We finished vocals this weekend on many songs, which is nice.

I am also working with the SPD foundation, trying to get info from them for press releases, sending photos and working on the song for the foundation. Whew...sometimes I wonder how I fit everything in..Ryan still must be taught, cared for, and soothed.

Ryan and I ran some errands this afternoon, he was singing, loudly, with the recordings we made over the weekend. He said "Mom, I like your songs!" It was so great..in the midst of chaos, the child soothed the mom. He really does give me so much peace in so many ways.

The first song we listened to was this one, Ocean Child. I took the first part of this song from a poem in the 1700's. The times have changed, but beautiful poetry, and music, stays the same.

Ocean Child
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
The waves are white and red the morn,
In the noisy hour, when I was born
And the whale it whistled, the porpoise rolled,..
And dolphins bared there backs of gold

And never was heard such an outcry wild
As welcomed to life, the ocean child.

The sea, the sea, the open sea!
The blue, the fresh, the ever free...
Without a mark, without a bound
It runneth the earth's wild regions round...

Out where the winds are strong and wild
There comes to life, the ocean child.

I'm on the sea, I'm on the sea!
I am where I would ever be
With blue above, and blue below....
and silence wherever I go...

When every mad wave drowns the moon,
Or whistles aloft, its tempest tune..
If a storm should come and wake the deep...
On wings of foam, I'll ride and sleep...

Unbounded sea, strong and wild...
Will welcome me still, the ocean child
The ocean child.

listen to OCEAN CHILD at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=6

To The Sea

Tonight Tolkiens' Lord of the Rings movie is on TV. Hilary and I went to see all three movies at the theatre, but they are so good I normally watch them again. The only thing missing in the movies, besides some of the story they could not pack into 3 hours...is the music, the poetry. So much of what makes the story is the poetry. Most are long, troubadour style, telling a story. I love those old poems. They make any story richer, and remind of us a day when there were not unlimited text messages. When language was king and stories were written in rhyme. When books were rare and not easy to access.

I love writing story songs. They are so fun to write. You must be brief, beautiful and descriptive. You must allude but not reveal. You must let your listener think for themselves.

This is a beautiful song referring to the elves and their longing for the sea. The sea for them meant the afterlife, so the song takes on a very wistful, mystical mood. Not really knowing what to expect, they only know where they are going.

To The Sea
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
Based on 'Lord of the Rings' by J.R.R. Tolkien

Sweep the sky from the sun's first dawning
Hear the cry in a winter morning
Catch the echo from the long lochs walls
And feel the chill of those lonely calls..

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

The road goes ever on and on..
Now far ahead the road has gone
Out from the door where it began
Let others follow it who can

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

Still round the corner there may wait..
A new road or a secret gate
though often I have passed them by...
A day will come at last when I ....

Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon, east of the sun
In that far land beneath the trees
The starlight on the western seas.....

and long are the waves on the lost shore falling
sweet are the voices of the lost isle calling....

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

Compass

My husband, Robert, is going on a business trip tomorrow, for a week. He travels more now than he used to, which he actually likes. I have always been very comfortable on my own, so Ryan and I hang out while Robert is gone. But there are those times in the week that I think how lucky we are that it is only a week away, not months or years. And of course I miss him and am very glad to have him home again when he returns.

Last year we sent copies of our cd's to the American soldiers in Iraq. I often thought about how it must be to be the family left behind, never knowing what was going to happen to your husband or wife.

Love really does pull us together, even when we are apart we can find our bearings and the direction of home. The imagery of a compass fits perfectly into the space between ourself and the one we love.

Compass
copyright 2008 Hilary Walton and LeighAnn Heil
Don't cry my love, as I prepare to go
For the love that I give no other will know.
Though our bodies feel distance, our souls move as one
And to you I'll return when my journey is done...

My compass down this long dusty road
A beacon that leads me to the home that I know
Our love will not break though the distance be long
For you are in my spirit, my heart, and my song.

Silently, now I will be on my way
But know in your heart that I will never stray
Your steadfast spirit links me to you
One soul one heart, made of the two

While I am away, you will be here with me
For our souls span the distance as I sail the wide sea.
Be strong, my love, for your strength keeps me true
And to you I'll return when my journey is through...

My compass down this long dusty road
A beacon that leads me to the home that I know
Our love will not break though the distance be long
For you are in my spirit, my heart, and my song.

listen to COMPASS at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=1

Monarch

I had someone ask me once why I was writing music. I had to take a step back and really think. Why? For a while I was stumped. The answer is that someone, sometime, suggested it and believed that I could. After that, I believed it myself.

This morning we were working on math, which my son, Ryan really struggles with. He was doing well, and had a surprised look on his face as he finished every problem correctly. I thought about those times when he tried and failed to do the problems, and the times when I insisted that he try again. The times when he wanted to say 'I can't', but said 'I can' instead.

Watching the light dawn inside a little mind is a powerful thing. Much like a caterpillar must feel when emerging from the cocoon. A new day is here
Rise with the Monarchs.

Monarch
copyright 2008
Come and take my hand
Run through the forest with me
Feel the wind rushing through the trees
Running to the sea

From where I stand
We could finally be
Light as the air, free as a bird
Spirits of the Sea

We are riding over the water
We are burning into the night
We are flying up like the monarchs
Rising in the eastern sky

Come and take my hand
Climb the mountains with me
Listen to the water flowing
Flowing to the sea

Rivers of crystal blue
Oceans of flowers in bloom
Nights so clear, and so cold
Under the winter moon

Come and take my hand
Swim the ocean with me
Dive deep, into my heart
Deeper than the sea....

We are riding over the water
We are burning into the night
We are flying up like the monarchs
Rising in the eastern sky

listen to MONARCH at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=3

Chambers of The Sea

A few nights ago, I took Ryan (my son who is 8) to see the show CATS. I love the poetry of T.S. Elliot that the show is based on. So funny and clever, it fits perfectly into the music and high energy dances. Ryan, of course, loved it, and now sings "a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees" around the house.

But T.S. Elliot also wrote "I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me." From "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock". Melancholy and incredibly sad, so very different from his 'book of practical cats.'

I found myself returning to that one line, "I have heard the mermaids singing", particularly since our band takes its name from Sirens, or mermaids. In fact, my husband often refers to all of us as "the mermaids." I took the line and changed it to fit a new song, and our group.

Chambers of The Sea
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
When the earthly no longer knows my name
I will whisper to the silent earth.
I am flowing to the flashing water
To the place of my birth

For I have heard the mermaids singing
And I think they sing to me
I have seen them slowly riding sea-ward
Lingering in chambers of the sea

When the night birds, call and conquer
When the moon is in her sky,
I am flowing to the flashing water
Comb the silver waves so high

When the sea is above me
while its waves they roar and whirl
There will be a ceiling of amber
And a pavement of shining pearl

When the night wind, starts to rise
And the sun has turned to red
I am flowing to the flashing water
With the ocean for my bed

For I have heard the mermaids singing
and I think they sing to me
I have seen them slowly riding seaward
Lingering in chambers of the sea
Lingering in chambers of the sea

listen to CHAMBERS OF THE SEA at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=5

Gypsy soul

When I was a girl I wanted to grow up to be a princess. Then I actually grew up, and realized I had more in common with the gypsies. I love travel, new places, freedom, music and dance. Perhaps it is my look, which is very Mediterranean. Perhaps it is my soul that has to have an occasional song and dance around the fire.

Back when I was in my 20's I sang in Seville, Spain. We went down to the coast at Cadiz, when friends and I decided to spend the night on the beach. All around us were gypsy camps...playing instruments and singing at the top of their lungs until 3 a.m. Bonfires and music and the moon waxing full created a very vivid memory for me. So of course, years later, a song came unannounced.

Gypsy Soul
copyright 2007 LeighAnn Heil

Red dirt road all before me, Following the caravan
I will travel over mountains, Nothing in my pockets, nothing in my hands.

I will dance before the fire, as the flames are rising high
I will play a gypsy chorus, Singing to the night air, singing to the sky.

See the wind travel through me, See the waves around me roll
Hear the music verse and chorus, Hear it in my gypsy soul

Feel the earth bow before me, Feel the rhythm of the night
Dancing, dancing, ever singing, Gypsy till the day I die.

Sands are ever melting onward, As the road moves ever free
Caravans are moving moving,
Leading to the shoreline, Leading to the sea.

The night air is warm around me, I can feel the desert rise
Tambourines and Balalaikas, Singing to the purple skies

Andalusia all around me, wind is moving through the trees
I will ride over the forest, Drum like hoof-beats under me

the night cloak is warm about me, Covers me within its train
Tapestries of stars and moonbeams, Sleeping on the Spanish plain.

See the wind travel through me, See the waves around me roll
Hear the music verse and chorus, Hear it in my gypsy soul

Feel the earth bow before me, Feel the rhythm of the night
Dancing, dancing, ever singing, Gypsy till the day I die.

listen at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=4

The Book

This past Christmas, Hilary asked for Books. Not a surprise. She loves them. They fill her bedroom, her house and flow from one room into the next. Go to Rikie's house, and they line her massive built in bookshelves, and are in every room and every closet. And then there is Marla. Marla not only has enormous quantities of books at her house, but can also either get or recommend others to you due to her vocation as a librarian! Of course, I have always loved books. They are how I have learned most everything of consequence in my life.

I think we like books so much because our lives are so much like books. Chapters open and close. Characters come and go. Conflict, sadness, grief and tragedy line the pages, along with descriptions, places and wonderful news. There are scary chapters, beautiful chapters, love-story chapters, chapters of exotic locations, and chapters about your children. Chapters that you are entirely glad to close, and chapters you wish would never end. We write that book throughout our days, weeks, months, and years.

Perhaps the story ends happily, but really.... if you have already read it, don't spoil it for me.
I don't want to know the ending.

The Book
copyright 2008, LeighAnn Heil

I got a book up on a shelf
A book I have written by myself
Its full of love and tragedy
Just don’t tell the end to me

I got a book I love to read
Full of all life’s mysteries
Like bedtime stories and wedding days
First steps and bikes and kids at play

I got a book with chapters dark
Night time shadows and scary parts
Happy endings shared with friends
I just don’t want to know the end

I got a book, a story to tell
I wrote it long and wrote it well
Trying to keep up as the years go by
Writing as fast as my fingers can fly…
don’t tell the end to me

We all have a book we have to write
Full of all our days and all our nights
The words record our lives, you see
Just don’t tell the end to me
No don’t tell the end to me.

We got a book, a story to tell
Write it long and write it well..
Try to keep up as the years go by,
Writing just as fast as our fingers can fly

We all have a book we have to write
Full of all our days and all our nights
We write just exactly what we want it to be…
Just don’t tell the end to me, no don’t tell the end to me.

listen to THE BOOK at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=2

Ribbon on the Package

As a long distance band, we have to do rehearsing in pieces, here and there when we can. The rehearsals are somewhat satisfying, much like a gift that has been beautifully wrapped. But there is something about a beautiful gift that is made perfect by the bow. Extravagant wired ribbon, with gold and cream, lifts the package from a 'thanks so much' to an 'oh, my!' Which do we rather eat...cake without frosting or a fondant artistic creation with frosted grapes? Nothing lifts the ordinary into sublime like the ribbon on a package.

The times we sing together are special, but the times when all four of us are in the same room, singing and playing and laughing are the best. Marla and Hilary and I are together most, and it is special. But when we add Rikie, (the ribbon on the package)....magic.

Siren, Sing The Light
copyright 2008, LeighAnn Heil

I have roamed over fields of golden wheat
And traveled through valleys deep
I have journeyed long and seen the strong
Misty Mountains with snowy peaks.

I have been in temples across the earth
In the land of the rising sun
I have seen the moon washed with gold
And the stars with silver spun

Chorus
But there’s a song that haunts all of my dreams
And wakens me in the night
And it sings to me, out over the sea
Siren, sing the light.

I have seen the place where life began
And the drums with their refrain
I have seen the desert with sands like seas
And the summers melting with rain

I have stood in the portals of history
And gathered the sands of time
But the same sweet song calls out to me
Calling with tones, sublime

Moon Song

When collaborating with another person to write a song, something really wonderful happens to the two of you. You both present your souls, they interweave. It is a very powerful communion.

Hilary and I have been collaborating for years, I tease her about her word-wizard ability, but it really is remarkable. She wrote a poem based on a book "the gift." It is a story of a girl who lives by the sea, and longs to hear the whales sing. Her grandmother tells her to give the whales a gift and she will get her wish. She goes down to the sea and drops a flower in the deep...and that night she hears the whales call her name.

It actually made me think of the quote by Winston Churchill, 'make a living by what you get, make a life by what you give.' So I believe I will. Give, that is. In fact, I think I hear whales calling my name......

Moon Song
words and music by LeighAnn Heil and Hilary Walton
copyright 2008 Heil/Walton

Come here to me and listen a while
To my tale of the creatures from a far away isle..
They come when we offer a gift to the sea
And for years they came, and they sang to me...

It was a moon song, high and long
A moon song, sad and strong
The whales are singing in the silent night..
Whales are singing, by the bright moon-light

If the gift you offer, brings joy to their hearts,
They will come and they will find you, in the peace of the dark
Then voices will call you from out of your sleep
And like a siren they will lure you, to the ocean deep

With a moon song, high and long
a moon song, sad and strong
The whales are singing in the silent night..
Whales are singing, by the bright moon-light

I listened to the whales of the deep
And offered my gift while you were fast asleep
And now they are calling all out on the sea..
Their song it is singing, for you and for me...

With a moon song, high and long
a moon song, sad and strong
The whales are singing in the silent night..
Whales are singing, by the bright moon-light.

http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=8

Home

Several months ago I wrote a song and sent it to the band. While Hilary couldn't open the wave file on her mac book...Rikie and Marla opened the song and listened to it. There was a tepid response to the song, so I shelved it.

I played it again for them this past month, and they fell it love with it. They said "why aren't we working on that?" My response was "I thought it wasn't any good."

Home is something I took for granted when I was younger, in fact, I couldn't wait to get out on my own. I didn't fully appreciate how truly special it was. Fortunately my memory made a recording of all those days as a child. The song is so much sweeter since I am older, with my own family, and my own home.
Now whenever I want to remember,
I just push play.

Home
copyright 2008, LeighAnn Heil

Something familiar calls to me
Daughters of the deep blue sea
I'm going home, I'm going home

Tell Poseidon I'm on my way
Sailing out at the break of day
I'm going home, I'm going home

I'm going home...forever will I roam
Sailing out on silver wings, Where my heart leaps and my spirit sings
Out on the sea...I'm going home.

Salty spray and the clear night air
Sailing with wind in my hair,
I'm going home, I'm going home

Take me out to the ocean deep
The place to where my spirit keeps,
Its on the sea...I'm going home

sea mist gathers on my skin
Sails unfurled out in the wind...on the sea
I'm going home.

I'm going home...forever will I roam
Sailing out on silver wings, Where my heart leaps and my spirit sings
Out on the sea...I'm going home.

Time for a change.

Yesterday, it was bright and hot outside. Granted it is bright and warm much of the winter in Abilene, but it was a brighter bright yesterday. It hurt your eyes. Different than the gray light of the winter. Spring is definitely coming.

I love seasons, (wrote a song about them, you know!) so I am pretty pumped when they change. The last few months have been filled with change, but for the better or worse time has yet to tell.

The songs I have written recently have been pretty introspective, less about events in history, less story songs, less about far-away lands. This last song is a very positive song about change.

New Day
copyright 2008, LeighAnn Heil

The moon going down, the stars are starting to fall
The sun is rising in the sky like a big red ball
Something is a-coming and a-blowin’ on the wind
The new day is here, its about to begin…

And I can’t say where the wind will lead
Whether riding over land or sailing on the sea
Feel the change coming with the sun’s first ray
it’s a brand new day

The night was dark, with a brand new moon
Everything just seemed so out of tune
But there’s a new song coming and its startin’ to rise
Calling from the sea, singing to the skies

Tomorrow is miles and miles away,
So we gotta start livin and lovin today
Gonna take away our worries, and take away our doubts.
When you open up the windows…see the sun coming out.