Home is where you are, my friend

Well the past couple of days have given me pause...pause to reflect on life, on God and on the fragility of time. Time is such a strange thing. When you are young, you cannot wait for time to pass. Minutes seems like a lifetime. School years last forever...summer cannot come quick enough. Then you get a bit older, and time seems to fly...one minute you are 17, the next you are 30. Your babies are tiny, then it seems the next minute they are in 3rd grade and are pitching fast balls to Dad in the backyard.

then there is the time spent with friends. I am so blessed. I have had the same 3 best friends for over 10 years. I have other friends...they are also very nice to have. But my 3, THE 3 are the ones that are the most important. The time with them seems short, but so sweet.

I wrote a song for them, several years ago....it expresses everything that happens when we get together. We sing, true. but we also talk, laugh, eat, pray and our souls commune.

but there are yet things unsaid...and I read something yesterday that prompted me to write these things I like about my friends.

13 things I like about mermaid #2

1. She is the smartest person I know.

2. She has a disciplined heart, and spirit, fully committed to God

3. She loves her cat and sometimes talks baby talk to him (funny!)

4. She will spend every Tuesday lunch delivering meals to homebound people

5. She recognizes most of my music references, even the obscure ones.

6. She is practical and purposeful (and an ankle-biter!)

7. She still laughs at the squawking seagull (caw!)

8. She is one of the most talented writers of lyrics I know, they are beautiful, thoughtful and crafted with loving care.

9. She will take large amounts of time and invest it in students that really need help

10. She is a wonderful daughter

11. She doesn't mind when I sing any song from Monty python, even if I have sung the song in the last 10 minutes before.

12. She has great rhythm and likes guitar

13. She is a special loyal friend.



13 things I love about mermaid #3

1. She is a wonderful mom.

2. She loves animals, but no longer talks baby talk to the big dogs..actually I don't think she ever did. Still loves animals, but would probably love them better if they didn't tear up her carpet.

3. She is organized and always gets lots of stuff done. She is also a great writer.

4. She makes mermaid #2 laugh during performances.

5. She is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known, but she is also one of the most down to earth.

6. She has good hair, but a great heart. and a brilliant mind.

7. 13 years ago she said "why don't you write some songs for us to sing?"

8. She loves the Lord and her family in a fierce, momma bear way (touch the family..draw back a nub, buddy)

9. She is a talented musician and singer.

10. She has the gift of hospitality in spades. you go to her home, you never want to leave!

11. She never shirks from acquiring a new skill. She has a infinite ability to absorb new knowledge.

12. People that know her love her. She is a great friend and very fun. She is unwaveringly loyal

13. She was the first person that offered to be my friend in Abilene.

Things I love about Mermaid #4

1. She is a wonderful mom.

2. She never has a bad word to say about anyone.

3. She has many creative gifts

4. She is fun.

5. She doesn't mind when Hil and I poke fun at her driving.

6. She is dedicated to service and has the unique ability to make kids feel special.

7. She is incredibly talented and incredibly humble.

8. She is easy going and welcoming.

9. She remembers all the hair band music from the 80's.

10. She has loved my child from the moment he was born.

11. She is a talented swimmer, musician, arranger and singer.

12. She loves the Lord and is dedicated to His service.

13. She is grounded and loving, and a special friend.

I hope that we all remember to say how many things we love about the people in our lives. If there is no tomorrow, I want to make sure they know.

Home is where you are my friend

Come and sit by the fire
And we will sing a song
come and warm your hands and we'll stay long
We will laugh about our old times, we'll only mourn a few
the laughs come so easy with you ...

Like the ocean breeze, blowing on my face
Like a warm smile or a welcome embrace
Like a roaring fire, near the winter's end
Home is where you are my friend

I will listen, I will mend
I will talk and will attend
I will sing and I will laugh with you
For friends we find are few

Though the road may take us, farther than we know
and our destiny is for life to show
Though we travel wide, and far we roam
In our hearts we will have a home.

Like the ocean breeze, blowing on my face
Like a warm smile or a welcome embrace
Like a roaring fire, near the winter's end
Home is where you are my friend

Winter Has Fallen

What a funny title for a post when obviously, outside in Abilene Texas, it is 400 degrees with a nice western wind blowing all the dirt around. Winter is obviously not here.

As always, it is about the song...so here goes.

Today I am sad sad sad...more so than yesterday, as I have had a day and a half to process. My Sister in law lost her brother, Gary and his wife, Kim, in a tragic, terrible way. Normally I would say, "wow, I cannot imagine what they are going through!"

But right now, all I can think back to is January 2006 at 1 a.m., holding a 6 month old who no longer had a mom. Going to a funeral and weeping uncontrollably. Regrets of not writing, calling, visiting more often. Thinking of my other sister-in-law, Kari and what I did not do for her while she was alive. The aching sadness that goes with the loss, and with the regret

But the more I read about Kim and Gary, the more I smile. Lives that were given in service. Lives that meant something to not just their families but to friends and people they touched. A woman who truly knew what it meant to be a woman of Proverbs 31. Tributes on websites, and blogs and posts on newsreels. Lives lived with a purpose. Lives lived for the Lord.

And what is more, they had peace. They were happy in their marriage. They had good friends. They had hope for the future. They had God. They led simple lives of quiet service. They loved justice, loved mercy and walked humbly. They were going to celebrate the birth of their new nephew. They loved. They were loved.

I don't have the words to fix that terrible aching sadness. But thank God that He sent someone to break the bonds of death. I am so glad this is not all there is, and I will definitely be making up lost time when I see Kari again.
And, bonus...I will get to know Kim (and Gary) when I get there, too.

(this is possibly the saddest song I have ever written. But it expresses my feelings very well. )

Winter Has Fallen

Down by the river there's a willow tree
It weeps so gently love, for you and me
and its lay you down, my own sweet love
Winter has fallen and the night has come
And its lay down low, my love
Lay down low, my love.

Down on the river there's a swan in white
Gliding slowly through the fine twilight.
and its lay you down, my own sweet love
Winter has fallen and the night has come
And its lay down low, my love
Lay down low, my love.


Over the shadows and the lake so deep
The fair moon is rising from its lonely sleep
and its lay you down, my own sweet love
Winter has fallen and the night has come
And its lay down low, my love
Lay down low, my love.

Down in the valley in the nighttime sky
A stars a falling like a tear so bright
and its lay you down, my own sweet love
Winter has fallen and the night has come
And its lay down low, my love
Lay down low, my love.

Down by the oak tree, standing all alone
Two lovers are sleeping, in their beds of stone.

but its.... lay you down, my own sweet love
Winter has fallen and the night has come
Winter has fallen and the night has come
Winter has fallen and the night has come

Sing With The Wind

As we complete our recording, and now that the pageant is over, I have been asking myself.."OK..now what?" I always have things in the works, projects or goals. But the last few days have been a little unclear of what direction to take. With all the uncertainty, it is sort of exciting in a strange way.

Life has had a way of bringing really exciting things around, both good and bad, in my life. Incredible highs and dizzying descents. Crazy and wonderful, life really is like my song 'the book', a cliffhanger read we just cant put down.

But I would also liken life to the wind. Try to predict where it goes and it will surprise you every time. There are so many different directions it could take. Struggle against the wind and lose.
I am just going to bend and go where it takes me.
It really is a sweet ride.

Sing With The Wind
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
Couldn’t say where I am going today
Just letting the wind take me away
I don’t know when and what to pray
I’ll just sing with the wind while it’s blowing away.

What the future holds It is hard to say
I will travel the road as it leads on my way
To sea or mountain, wherever I stray….
I will walk with the road where it’s winding today

Sing with the wind
Calling your name
The wind is ever changing the songs’ never the same
Wisdom and power are out of our hands…
There are just some things we can’t understand….

Maybe there is coming a time
Where I will know the reason and the rhyme
Where an ordered dance will set my stage
And I will follow its lead and I will be on my way….

I cant say who I will meet
All I know is that life’s song is so sweet
And Whether fate uses chance or choice
I’m going to sing that song at the top of my voice

The time is now.

As most of my friends know, my son, Ryan, suffers from something called sensory processing disorder. I went to my ARD meeting at his school yesterday, to see if he was eligible for special education and therapy. Unfortunately, SPD is not considered a disability, diagnosis or really anything in Texas or nationwide. In fact the people in the meeting (there were 5 there...all educators and diagnosticians) were very interested in SPD...since none of them knew anything about it. I was pretty excited, some educators that I can enlighten! ....5 down and around 250,000 to go in TEXAS! (ok that number is a LITTLE high...but maybe 25000 might be more like it!)

My Ryan is possibly the sweetest kid on the planet...and it breaks my heart to know that other kids are suffering and labeled as bored, lazy, ADHD, and bi-polar. Without therapy intervention early, they will fail, and fall through the cracks of society. Please support the SPD foundation, as they provide more research and signatures to the medical board. Make SPD a recognized diagnosis this year! www.kidfoundation.org

I am currently writing a song which will be dedicated to kids with SPD. the song is "what if the time is now?" Right now, all I have is the idea and the chorus. But it is powerful when you think that we must act on our convictions, on our cause and we must not wait....there is a goal sheet in my husbands office, the top of the list has these words.

'the fierce urgency of now'

There are no guarantees of tomorrow or even the next moment.
Help by signing the petition to make SPD a recognized diagnosis/disability.

http://www.kidfoundation.org/advocacy/petition.php

What if the Time is Now

chorus:
What if the time is now
what if the moment is right
what if all the answers are right before our eyes
what if we took the chance and let faith guide the way?
What if the time is now?
what if the day is today?

Breathe In Breathe Out

I just returned last night from the Mrs. Texas United States pageant. I really had a great weekend, and although I did not win, I would not change anything I did. Robert said that I was extremely elegant and beautiful. Ryan kept looking at my ad page...it said "to Ryan, I love you!" He was proud he was in the program and that I mentioned him in my intro. Ryan said "Mommy, I am sorry you didn't win....I would have voted for you!" I told him that being his Mom made me a winner every day.

I was disappointed last night, but Robert told me that I was one of the few that actually followed through with doing exciting things in life. He said that people always say "I'd like to do that" but that I actually do the big things. When you risk big, sometimes you lose big....but higher stakes also mean higher payoffs.

today I am tired, but my soul is ready to risk.

Breathe in breathe out...move on.

Breathe In, Breathe Out
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil

After the fall is over
And the night has gone away
The morning will bring you
A clearer vision, and a brand new day if you just

Breathe in, breathe out
Take a little time, and let your feelings out
Cast all your cares, to the evening wind and
Just breathe out, then breathe in….

Wearing your heart on your sleeve,
Has to be hard all on your own,
You’ve got your worries
You can talk to me, I’m in no hurry …at all

Like the winter snows melting
And the rivers running like rain
Living with your soul wide open
Finding the strength to begin again…if you just

I have heard it said
A journey begins with a step
I see yours beginning
With just a single breath….

Breathe in, breathe out
Take a little time, and let your feelings out
Cast all your cares, to the evening wind and
Just breathe out, then breathe in, again.

Ocean Child

Picture of my Ryan guy...

















Sirens' Song at Erinshire At The Gap music festival



It has been a busy week. I am Mrs. Abilene United States, and the Mrs. Texas pageant is this weekend. In addition to all the pageant prep, Sirens' Song had a gig this weekend. We recorded in the studio Friday and Sunday. Fun, but exhausting. We finished vocals this weekend on many songs, which is nice.

I am also working with the SPD foundation, trying to get info from them for press releases, sending photos and working on the song for the foundation. Whew...sometimes I wonder how I fit everything in..Ryan still must be taught, cared for, and soothed.

Ryan and I ran some errands this afternoon, he was singing, loudly, with the recordings we made over the weekend. He said "Mom, I like your songs!" It was so great..in the midst of chaos, the child soothed the mom. He really does give me so much peace in so many ways.

The first song we listened to was this one, Ocean Child. I took the first part of this song from a poem in the 1700's. The times have changed, but beautiful poetry, and music, stays the same.

Ocean Child
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
The waves are white and red the morn,
In the noisy hour, when I was born
And the whale it whistled, the porpoise rolled,..
And dolphins bared there backs of gold

And never was heard such an outcry wild
As welcomed to life, the ocean child.

The sea, the sea, the open sea!
The blue, the fresh, the ever free...
Without a mark, without a bound
It runneth the earth's wild regions round...

Out where the winds are strong and wild
There comes to life, the ocean child.

I'm on the sea, I'm on the sea!
I am where I would ever be
With blue above, and blue below....
and silence wherever I go...

When every mad wave drowns the moon,
Or whistles aloft, its tempest tune..
If a storm should come and wake the deep...
On wings of foam, I'll ride and sleep...

Unbounded sea, strong and wild...
Will welcome me still, the ocean child
The ocean child.

listen to OCEAN CHILD at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=6

To The Sea

Tonight Tolkiens' Lord of the Rings movie is on TV. Hilary and I went to see all three movies at the theatre, but they are so good I normally watch them again. The only thing missing in the movies, besides some of the story they could not pack into 3 hours...is the music, the poetry. So much of what makes the story is the poetry. Most are long, troubadour style, telling a story. I love those old poems. They make any story richer, and remind of us a day when there were not unlimited text messages. When language was king and stories were written in rhyme. When books were rare and not easy to access.

I love writing story songs. They are so fun to write. You must be brief, beautiful and descriptive. You must allude but not reveal. You must let your listener think for themselves.

This is a beautiful song referring to the elves and their longing for the sea. The sea for them meant the afterlife, so the song takes on a very wistful, mystical mood. Not really knowing what to expect, they only know where they are going.

To The Sea
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
Based on 'Lord of the Rings' by J.R.R. Tolkien

Sweep the sky from the sun's first dawning
Hear the cry in a winter morning
Catch the echo from the long lochs walls
And feel the chill of those lonely calls..

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

The road goes ever on and on..
Now far ahead the road has gone
Out from the door where it began
Let others follow it who can

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

Still round the corner there may wait..
A new road or a secret gate
though often I have passed them by...
A day will come at last when I ....

Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon, east of the sun
In that far land beneath the trees
The starlight on the western seas.....

and long are the waves on the lost shore falling
sweet are the voices of the lost isle calling....

To the Sea! To the Sea! the white gulls crying...
The wind it is blowing and the white foam flying
West! West, away! the round sun is falling
Gray ship, gray ship, do you hear them calling...

For our days are ending, and our years are failing...
I will pass wide water, Lonely sailing....

Compass

My husband, Robert, is going on a business trip tomorrow, for a week. He travels more now than he used to, which he actually likes. I have always been very comfortable on my own, so Ryan and I hang out while Robert is gone. But there are those times in the week that I think how lucky we are that it is only a week away, not months or years. And of course I miss him and am very glad to have him home again when he returns.

Last year we sent copies of our cd's to the American soldiers in Iraq. I often thought about how it must be to be the family left behind, never knowing what was going to happen to your husband or wife.

Love really does pull us together, even when we are apart we can find our bearings and the direction of home. The imagery of a compass fits perfectly into the space between ourself and the one we love.

Compass
copyright 2008 Hilary Walton and LeighAnn Heil
Don't cry my love, as I prepare to go
For the love that I give no other will know.
Though our bodies feel distance, our souls move as one
And to you I'll return when my journey is done...

My compass down this long dusty road
A beacon that leads me to the home that I know
Our love will not break though the distance be long
For you are in my spirit, my heart, and my song.

Silently, now I will be on my way
But know in your heart that I will never stray
Your steadfast spirit links me to you
One soul one heart, made of the two

While I am away, you will be here with me
For our souls span the distance as I sail the wide sea.
Be strong, my love, for your strength keeps me true
And to you I'll return when my journey is through...

My compass down this long dusty road
A beacon that leads me to the home that I know
Our love will not break though the distance be long
For you are in my spirit, my heart, and my song.

listen to COMPASS at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=1

Monarch

I had someone ask me once why I was writing music. I had to take a step back and really think. Why? For a while I was stumped. The answer is that someone, sometime, suggested it and believed that I could. After that, I believed it myself.

This morning we were working on math, which my son, Ryan really struggles with. He was doing well, and had a surprised look on his face as he finished every problem correctly. I thought about those times when he tried and failed to do the problems, and the times when I insisted that he try again. The times when he wanted to say 'I can't', but said 'I can' instead.

Watching the light dawn inside a little mind is a powerful thing. Much like a caterpillar must feel when emerging from the cocoon. A new day is here
Rise with the Monarchs.

Monarch
copyright 2008
Come and take my hand
Run through the forest with me
Feel the wind rushing through the trees
Running to the sea

From where I stand
We could finally be
Light as the air, free as a bird
Spirits of the Sea

We are riding over the water
We are burning into the night
We are flying up like the monarchs
Rising in the eastern sky

Come and take my hand
Climb the mountains with me
Listen to the water flowing
Flowing to the sea

Rivers of crystal blue
Oceans of flowers in bloom
Nights so clear, and so cold
Under the winter moon

Come and take my hand
Swim the ocean with me
Dive deep, into my heart
Deeper than the sea....

We are riding over the water
We are burning into the night
We are flying up like the monarchs
Rising in the eastern sky

listen to MONARCH at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=3

Chambers of The Sea

A few nights ago, I took Ryan (my son who is 8) to see the show CATS. I love the poetry of T.S. Elliot that the show is based on. So funny and clever, it fits perfectly into the music and high energy dances. Ryan, of course, loved it, and now sings "a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees" around the house.

But T.S. Elliot also wrote "I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me." From "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock". Melancholy and incredibly sad, so very different from his 'book of practical cats.'

I found myself returning to that one line, "I have heard the mermaids singing", particularly since our band takes its name from Sirens, or mermaids. In fact, my husband often refers to all of us as "the mermaids." I took the line and changed it to fit a new song, and our group.

Chambers of The Sea
copyright 2008 LeighAnn Heil
When the earthly no longer knows my name
I will whisper to the silent earth.
I am flowing to the flashing water
To the place of my birth

For I have heard the mermaids singing
And I think they sing to me
I have seen them slowly riding sea-ward
Lingering in chambers of the sea

When the night birds, call and conquer
When the moon is in her sky,
I am flowing to the flashing water
Comb the silver waves so high

When the sea is above me
while its waves they roar and whirl
There will be a ceiling of amber
And a pavement of shining pearl

When the night wind, starts to rise
And the sun has turned to red
I am flowing to the flashing water
With the ocean for my bed

For I have heard the mermaids singing
and I think they sing to me
I have seen them slowly riding seaward
Lingering in chambers of the sea
Lingering in chambers of the sea

listen to CHAMBERS OF THE SEA at http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=5

Gypsy soul

When I was a girl I wanted to grow up to be a princess. Then I actually grew up, and realized I had more in common with the gypsies. I love travel, new places, freedom, music and dance. Perhaps it is my look, which is very Mediterranean. Perhaps it is my soul that has to have an occasional song and dance around the fire.

Back when I was in my 20's I sang in Seville, Spain. We went down to the coast at Cadiz, when friends and I decided to spend the night on the beach. All around us were gypsy camps...playing instruments and singing at the top of their lungs until 3 a.m. Bonfires and music and the moon waxing full created a very vivid memory for me. So of course, years later, a song came unannounced.

Gypsy Soul
copyright 2007 LeighAnn Heil

Red dirt road all before me, Following the caravan
I will travel over mountains, Nothing in my pockets, nothing in my hands.

I will dance before the fire, as the flames are rising high
I will play a gypsy chorus, Singing to the night air, singing to the sky.

See the wind travel through me, See the waves around me roll
Hear the music verse and chorus, Hear it in my gypsy soul

Feel the earth bow before me, Feel the rhythm of the night
Dancing, dancing, ever singing, Gypsy till the day I die.

Sands are ever melting onward, As the road moves ever free
Caravans are moving moving,
Leading to the shoreline, Leading to the sea.

The night air is warm around me, I can feel the desert rise
Tambourines and Balalaikas, Singing to the purple skies

Andalusia all around me, wind is moving through the trees
I will ride over the forest, Drum like hoof-beats under me

the night cloak is warm about me, Covers me within its train
Tapestries of stars and moonbeams, Sleeping on the Spanish plain.

See the wind travel through me, See the waves around me roll
Hear the music verse and chorus, Hear it in my gypsy soul

Feel the earth bow before me, Feel the rhythm of the night
Dancing, dancing, ever singing, Gypsy till the day I die.

listen at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=4

The Book

This past Christmas, Hilary asked for Books. Not a surprise. She loves them. They fill her bedroom, her house and flow from one room into the next. Go to Rikie's house, and they line her massive built in bookshelves, and are in every room and every closet. And then there is Marla. Marla not only has enormous quantities of books at her house, but can also either get or recommend others to you due to her vocation as a librarian! Of course, I have always loved books. They are how I have learned most everything of consequence in my life.

I think we like books so much because our lives are so much like books. Chapters open and close. Characters come and go. Conflict, sadness, grief and tragedy line the pages, along with descriptions, places and wonderful news. There are scary chapters, beautiful chapters, love-story chapters, chapters of exotic locations, and chapters about your children. Chapters that you are entirely glad to close, and chapters you wish would never end. We write that book throughout our days, weeks, months, and years.

Perhaps the story ends happily, but really.... if you have already read it, don't spoil it for me.
I don't want to know the ending.

The Book
copyright 2008, LeighAnn Heil

I got a book up on a shelf
A book I have written by myself
Its full of love and tragedy
Just don’t tell the end to me

I got a book I love to read
Full of all life’s mysteries
Like bedtime stories and wedding days
First steps and bikes and kids at play

I got a book with chapters dark
Night time shadows and scary parts
Happy endings shared with friends
I just don’t want to know the end

I got a book, a story to tell
I wrote it long and wrote it well
Trying to keep up as the years go by
Writing as fast as my fingers can fly…
don’t tell the end to me

We all have a book we have to write
Full of all our days and all our nights
The words record our lives, you see
Just don’t tell the end to me
No don’t tell the end to me.

We got a book, a story to tell
Write it long and write it well..
Try to keep up as the years go by,
Writing just as fast as our fingers can fly

We all have a book we have to write
Full of all our days and all our nights
We write just exactly what we want it to be…
Just don’t tell the end to me, no don’t tell the end to me.

listen to THE BOOK at
http://sirenssing.com/hostbaby/merge?stage=music&substage=2